You were beautiful. Not in the old-fashioned, high cheekbones, heart-shaped face, slender figure, soft and flowing hair sort of way. No. You were beautiful in your own quirky, kind-hearted, sweet way. You always smiled at me from across the hallway and gave that wave that no one else could ever imitate. You were always happy and I couldn’t ever figure out why. You said hello to everyone and spoke to them as if they were important to you. You smiled, no matter what.
But you were also annoying, super clingy and awkward.
I know it’s too late but I need you to know that I’m sorry. And that I never wanted this to happen. I didn’t know that you were hurting so bad. I thought that this was normal. Fucked up, I know.
But now you’re gone. And nothing I say can bring you back. Maybe I was just one of the reasons why. Maybe I was what started it. Or maybe I was what pushed you over the edge.
But there were no signs. Nothing looked out of the ordinary. If I had looked closely, maybe I would have seen the sadness you hid so well. I’m sorry I didn’t look. I’m sorry I didn’t realise. I’m sorry we fucked you up so badly, you didn’t even leave a note explaining why. You didn’t want anyone to get a closure.
I know nothing I say will bring you back but I just wanted you to know how fucking sorry I am. I killed you. I killed your spirit. I killed your will. I killed your soul.
And I’m sorry.
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Don’t hesitate to call. Nobody deserves to die like this.