3 AM poems

I’m writing a poem,

I don’t know why.

I should stop this,

Or you’ll think I’m high.

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Let it heal.

My counselor told me something really meaningful and profound recently.

She said, “It’s important to remember that when you’re depressed, you have to nurse yourself and be extra gentle towards yourself. An athlete wouldn’t break an ankle and then force themselves to run with that ankle. They rest as it heals and do not think “I am a failed athlete”. Instead, they think, “Right now something isn’t working right, so I’ll take care of myself until it does.”

Just like a broken bone, depression can change the way your daily life plays out, and pushing yourself too hard and getting frustated when you don’t feel better is just like trying to run on that broken ankle and getting frustated when it doesn’t heal.

Give it time.

Let it heal.

Breathe. This will pass.

Breathe.

You’re going to be okay.

Breathe and remember that you’ve been in this place before.

You’ve been this uncomfortable and anxious and scared, and you’ve survived.

Breathe and know that you can survive this too. These feelings can’t break you.

They’re painful and debilitating, but you can sit with them and eventually, they will pass. Maybe not immediately, but sometime soon, they are going to fade and when they do, you’ll look back at this moment and laugh for having doubted your resilience.

I know it feels unbearable right now, but keep breathing, again and again.

This will pass.

I promise it will pass.

The art of giving without expecting.

“The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.”

It is often said that there’s no such thing as a selfless act—that any time we do something to help another person, we get something in return. It might not be much. Maybe it’ll just be a warm fuzzy feeling. Or a token of appreciation. But there’s always something.

I know you get that good feels when you help someone else. To me, it is a completely acceptable type of selfishness. What gives me cause for concern are the “little” expectations we often have when we give “selflessly.”

We’ve all been there. You cover for your friend because you know they’ll cover for you. You give your brother 50 ₹, and then keep reminding him of it every time you need a work to be done by him. You help your friend, and then feel bad when she isn’t as supportive as you were. There are tons of examples.

These expectations cause more stress than happiness. They lead to disappointment if the person you helped doesn’t return the kindness, sometimes places a wedge in your​ relationships; makes you feel incredibly guilty about expecting something in return.

Ask your self ‘What do you expect in return of this?’ If the answer is happiness, do it! Otherwise, don’t even think about it.

I’ve made a list of things you can do to show you care and that you are thoughtful, without wanting the receiver​ to return the kindness. Ways where giving is its own reward. (Although I’ve written you, these are things I try.)


1) Let someone tell you a story- without feeling the need to interrupt them, one-up them or tell your own

2) Let someone vent- even if you can’t offer a solution, just lend them your ears and your support.

3) Help someone who is struggling with difficult feelings- by admitting you’ve felt the same way and giving advices to cope with them.

4) Tell someone how they make you feel-even if it makes you feel vulnerable; just to let them know they’re loved and not alone.

5) Hold someone’s hand when they feel vulnerable- to let them know you haven’t abandoned them.

6) Give your undivided attention to the person in front of you- even when you’re tempted to let your thoughts wander; just to show them their words are valuable to you.

7) Accompany someone to an appointment that they’re stressed about or drive them to an interview- when they need support just to help them feel strong.

8) Leave a thoughtful comment on someone’s blog- not to increase your views but rather to show them how their blog affected you and made you feel

9) Tell someone you believe in them- even if they haven’t always shown you the same support.

10) Tell someone that you know they meant well- instead of using their mistake as an opportunity to make them feel guilty.

None of us is always kind. Human nature dictates, we always give with one eye on what we receive. And it’s okay as long as we put a conscious effort in doing something for someone just for the sake of doing it; without expectations.

Not expecting doesn’t mean you’re​ giving other people permission to treat you thoughtlessly. It means you’re​ checking​ your motivations and giving because you want to, and then asking for things directly when you need them. People who care about you will be there for you.

What would you do just to show that you care?