You’re going to be okay.
Breathe and remember that you’ve been in this place before.
You’ve been this uncomfortable and anxious and scared, and you’ve survived.
Breathe and know that you can survive this too. These feelings can’t break you.
They’re painful and debilitating, but you can sit with them and eventually, they will pass. Maybe not immediately, but sometime soon, they are going to fade and when they do, you’ll look back at this moment and laugh for having doubted your resilience.
I know it feels unbearable right now, but keep breathing, again and again.
This will pass.
I promise it will pass.
Result day is near. Everyone, including me, is freaking out and having meltdowns. Oh, such nerve wracking days! Most of my time is spent trying not to think about results, frantically calling friends and ranting when I realise it’s not working and then eventually drowning in my tears.
So here’s my #HappyList that I’ve decided to cross off instead:
- Watch a new series 💻.
- Re-watch another series 💻.
- Watch movies 📺.
- Read lots of books 📚.
- Read a fanfiction 📖.
- Watch anime series 🎌.
- Or Netflix 💻.
- Troll trough memes + Instagram 😂.
- Cat videos 😹.
- Jam to music 🎧.
- Eat good food 🍲.
- Water plants + talk to them 🌿.
- Take long baths 🛀.
- Eat ice-creams 🍦.
- Make people laugh 😂.
- Hold hands while walking👫.
- Go to pet stores 🌍.
- Do photography 📷.
- Drawing + colouring 🎨.
- Rainy days are rare. GET OUTSIDE 🌈.
- Pet dogs 🐕.
- Watch sunsets 🌇.
- Take pictures of nature 🌸.
- Hug Mom ❤.
- Write a story 📝.
- FRIDAY 😂.
- Think positively 🔯.
- Sing along to the radio 📻.
- Talk to my bestfriend who isn’t on speaking terms with me 💔.
- Daydream alot 💭.
- Drink freshly-squeezed lemonade 🍹.
- Share good beer with great friends 🍻.
- Sleep with the windows open on cool nights 🍃.
- Play video games with my idiotic brother 🎮.
Make your own #HappyList or write about the things that make you happy in the comments.
So until my fate is decided, au revoir, prends soin de toi.
Music. That’s all I hear today. I woke up to blaring music and wondered what was so happy about this holi. Living on the 16th floor doesn’t make the music any softer (ugh). I ate my breakfast bobbing my head to the beats. I danced to the music later, in my room, only to have mum glare at me. I wondered what was so happy about this holi.
Wondering why I’m so bummed about holi this year? Let me explain.
You see, holi is one of my favourite festival. I believe that it is not only the festival of colours, but also the festival of love, equality and all things good. This is the only festival where anyone can get crazy drunk and no one will bat an eyelid. It’s the best thing ever. And my building committee goes all out on holi. There’s rain dance, unlimited powdered colour to throw on people, a buffet of sorts AND unlimited alcohol (who doesn’t love it?) And bhang, the drink with marijuana is customary (how did I forget it!?). Getting drunk and dancing with your friends till you drop is so much fun.
Guess who is missing out on all that fun this year? That’s right, me! How nice, right?
And guess why? Board exams are going on and mum insists that I should be studying instead of having fun (as if I can study with all this music blasting from the speakers). And the worst part of this? My whole family is down. Except for me. I can see people dancing and having fun through my balcony, but I feel like a creeper when looking at them. Oh, fun!
So here’s me, sitting on my bed, eating lots of snack and having no alcohol, staring at the wall, wishing you all a happy holi while wondering what’s so happy about it this year.