The real self care 101.

Everyone needs self care. There’s no “Ugh, who needs self care, it sounds like girly stuff I wouldn’t be caught dead doing” or “It’s unnecessary”.

Imagine this: You’re overwhelmed at work. You have a ton of assignments piling up at home, submission dates are creeping up on you at an alarming rate and your calendar is packed with overdue tasks. To make room for all of this stuff, you skip lunch, stop going out, and forget about your social life entirely. When we’re stressed, self care is usually the first thing to throw out of the window. And that only makes things so much worse.

It’s easy to neglect taking care of ourselves because when we’re busy and overwhelmed, even a small break feels like a luxury. So actually taking time to eat lunch, go out, and hang out with friends? That just feels like slacking.

There is a misconception that self care is all about slush bomb baths, massages, yoga, expensive candles and buying nice meals. Because what does self care mean to someone who is broke, struggling and burdened with hardships, right? The beautiful concept of self care is commercialized beyond imagination.

So, here are a few realistic self care tips for us broke people:

  1. Call a friend. Preferably a friend you haven’t spoken to from a long time. Talk about the fun times you had together. It actually makes you feel good.
  2. Take a walk outside. Feel the warmth of the sun on your face. Or the feel of the breeze flowing around you. Whatever works.
  3. Delete any apps that you haven’t used for more than a week. Decluttering your phone is just as important as decluttering your desk.
  4. Declutter your desk while you’re at it.
  5. Find a sacred spot; a view you love or a place that makes you feel greatly alive. Visit it as often as possible.
  6. Go to the beach and wiggle your toes in the sand.
  7. Re-read your favorite novel.
  8. Listen to uplifting music; something that you can sing out loud and swing your hips to.
  9. Since it’s finally sweater weather (yaaayyyyy!!), wear your comfiest hoodie or cover yourself in your fluffy blanket and sip on coffee while reading a book.
  10. The last few months, I’ve been loving coloring books. Maybe a little silly, but so awesome. Seriously, give it a try.

Look, not every one of these self care ideas will be your cup of tea.

They won’t all be the perfect antidote to what you’re going through. But I hope that this is enough inspiration to get you started. What I want you to know most is that you have the power to claim self care as your ishh. The inspiration here is just a starting point. There is no stopping once you start.

Continue reading “The real self care 101.”

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Love yourself.

You look great.

You look great in your glasses. You look great with your braces. You look great with your scars. You look great with your bruises. You look great with your birthmarks and moles. You look great even with your acne. You look great with that gap between your teeth. You look great if you’re thin. You look great if you are plump. You look great if you’re tall. You look great if you’re short. You look great with your tresses done. You look great with your hair pulled back.

You look great.

You look spectacular.

You look fabulous.

You look stunning.

Love yourself.

 

Make a list. A #HappyList.

Result day is near. Everyone, including me, is freaking out and having meltdowns. Oh, such nerve wracking days! Most of my time is spent trying not to think about results, frantically calling friends and ranting when I realise it’s not working and then eventually drowning in my tears.

So here’s my #HappyList that I’ve decided to cross off instead:

  • Watch a new series 💻.
  • Re-watch another series 💻.
  • Watch movies 📺.
  • Read lots of books 📚.
  • Read a fanfiction 📖.
  • Watch anime series 🎌.
  • Or Netflix 💻.
  • Troll trough memes + Instagram 😂.
  • Cat videos 😹.
  • Jam to music 🎧.
  • Eat good food 🍲.
  • Water plants + talk to them 🌿.
  • Take long baths 🛀.
  • Eat ice-creams 🍦.
  • Make people laugh 😂.
  • Hold hands while walking👫.
  • Go to pet stores 🌍.
  • Do photography 📷.
  • Drawing + colouring 🎨.
  • Rainy days are rare. GET OUTSIDE 🌈.
  • Pet dogs 🐕.
  • Watch sunsets 🌇.
  • Take pictures of nature 🌸.
  • Hug Mom ❤.
  • Write a story 📝.
  • FRIDAY 😂.
  • Think positively 🔯.
  • Sing along to the radio 📻.
  • Talk to my bestfriend who isn’t​ on speaking terms with me 💔.
  • Daydream alot 💭.
  • Drink freshly-squeezed lemonade 🍹.
  • Share good beer with great friends 🍻.
  • Sleep with the windows open on cool nights 🍃.
  • Play video games with my idiotic brother 🎮.

Make your own #HappyList or write about the things that make you happy in the comments. 

So until my fate is decided, au revoir, prends soin de toi.

I’m sorry.

Dear friend,

You were beautiful. Not in the old-fashioned, high cheekbones, heart-shaped face, slender figure, soft and flowing hair sort of way. No. You were beautiful in your own quirky, kind-hearted, sweet way. You always smiled at me from across the hallway and gave that wave that no one else could ever imitate. You were always happy and I couldn’t ever figure out why. You said hello to everyone and spoke to them as if they were important to you. You smiled, no matter what. 

But you were also annoying, super clingy and awkward.

I know it’s​ too late but I need you​ to know that I’m sorry. And that I never wanted this to happen. I didn’t know that you were hurting so bad. I thought that this was normal. Fucked up, I know.

But now you’re gone. And nothing I say can bring you back. Maybe I was just one of the reasons why. Maybe I was what started it. Or maybe I was what pushed you over the edge.

But there were no signs. Nothing looked out of the ordinary. If I had looked closely, maybe I would have seen the sadness you hid so well. I’m sorry I didn’t look. I’m sorry I didn’t realise. I’m sorry we fucked you up so badly, you didn’t even leave a note explaining why. You didn’t want anyone to get a closure.

I know nothing I say will bring you back but I just wanted you to know how fucking sorry I am. I killed you. I killed your spirit. I killed your will. I killed your soul.

And I’m sorry.

Suicide prevention helpline number: +91 22 2556 3291

Don’t hesitate to call. Nobody deserves to die like this.

You are beautiful, dear stranger.

Dear whoever is reading this,

I don’t know who you are or what you are going through in your life but I just wanted to say that you are beautiful. We are all beautiful in our own special way, no matter what size, shape or color. And we all should truly feel comfortable in our own skin and confident with who we are. I know people tend to throw negativity in other people’s directions and that it isn’t right. Why is it so easy to be mean to each other but so hard to be nice? This post may get lost in this sea of posts but I hope that this will touch at least one person’s heart. You are beautiful, you are important and I am glad that you are alive because without you, something irreplaceable would be missing. I hope you have an amazing day, beautiful stranger.

Sincerely,

A girl who is trying to spread a little kindness in this cruel, yet beautiful world.

15 good things to do EVERYDAY. 

1. Push yourself to get up before the rest of the world – start with 9am, then 8am, then 7am, then 6am, then 5:30am. Go to the nearest hill with a big coat and a scarf and watch the sun rise.

2. Push yourself to fall asleep earlier – start with 12pm, then 11pm, then 10pm, then 9pm. Wake up in the morning feeling re-energized and comfortable.

3. Get into the habit of cooking yourself a beautiful breakfast. Fry tomatoes and mushrooms in real butter and garlic, fry an egg, slice up a fresh avocado and squirt way too much lemon on it. Sit and eat it and do nothing else.

4. Stretch. Start by reaching for the sky as hard as you can, then trying to touch your toes. roll your head. Stretch your fingers. Stretch everything.

5. Buy a 1L water bottle. Start with pushing yourself to drink the whole thing in a day, then try drinking it twice.

6. Buy a beautiful diary and a black pen. write down everything you do, including dinner dates, appointments, assignments, coffees, what you need to do that day. No detail is too small.

7. Strip your bed of your sheets and empty your underwear draw into the washing machine. Put a massive scoop of scented fabric softener in there and wash. Make your bed in full.

8. Organise your room. Fold all your clothes (and bag what you don’t want), clean your mirror, your laptop, clean the floor. Light a beautiful scented candle.

9. Have a luxurious shower with your favourite music playing. Wash your hair, scrub your body, brush your teeth, lather your whole body in moisturiser, get familiar with the part between your toes, your inner thighs, the back of your neck.

10. Push yourself to go for a walk. Take your headphones, go to the beach and walk. Smile at strangers walking the other way and be surprised how many smile back. Pet a dog and observe the dog’s behaviour. Realise you can learn from your dog.

11. Message old friends with personal jokes. Reminisce. Suggest a catch up soon, even if you don’t follow through. Push yourself to follow through.

12. Think long and hard about what interests you. Crime? Sex? Boarding school? Long-forgotten romance etiquette? Time-travel? Find a book about it and read it. There is a book about literally everything.

13. Become the person you would ideally fall in love with. Let cars merge into your lane when driving. Pay for the train ticket of the person behind you. Smile at strangers. 

14. Stick your tongue out at babies. Compliment people on their cute outfits. Challenge yourself to not ridicule anyone for a whole day. Then two. Then a week. Walk with a straight posture. Look people in the eye. Ask people about their story. Talk to acquaintances so they become friends. 

15. Lie in the sunshine. Daydream about the life you would lead if failure wasn’t a thing. Open your eyes. Take small steps to make it happen for you.

Dear diary.

Dear diary,

Today was different. Today felt different. Maybe it was because today was one of my dear friends birthday. Or maybe because I binge watched a really good series. I don’t know. But it felt​ good. I don’t know how to explain “it”.

So instead, I’ll explain how I feels. It’s how breathing fresh air after sitting in a smokey room for too long feels. Having such moments of clarity feels good. Especially when I’m always surrounded by noise, rush and poisoned thoughts. Thoughts that I can’t escape from. What if I’m not good enough? What if they don’t like me? What if I mess up? What if?

So, today I focused only on the positives.

  • I didn’t fall off the bed while waking up.
  • My phone didn’t fall from my hand all day.
  • I didn’t smoke today 
  • I petted a cute little dog. 
  • I didn’t cancel any plans.
  • I didn’t judge myself when I stood in front of the mirror. 
  • I made everyone in the room laugh with my awkwardness.
  • I spent time with an elderly lady.

These may seem frivolous. Or maybe downright hilarious. But when you’re always looking at things negatively, this is something you learn to appreciate.

This feeling that I’ve got? I don’t want it to go. Ever.