Kisses And Galaxies.

They found each other
In the pitch of darkness
And it was their kiss
That sparked the light
To light the world.
Here where the sun
Kissed the moon
And galaxies were born.


Mental Illness.

[A really lengthy post]

People assume you aren’t sick
unless they see the sickness on your skin,
like scars forming a map of all the ways you’re hurting.
My heart is a prison of “Have you tried?”s.
Have you tried exercising? Have you tried eating better?
Have you tried not being sad, not being sick?
Have you tried being more like me?
Have you tried shutting up?

Yes, I have tried.

Yes, I am still trying.

And yes, I am still sick.

Sometimes monsters are invisible, and
sometimes demons attack you from the inside.
Just because you cannot see the claws and the teeth does not mean they aren’t ripping through me.
Pain does not need to be seen to be felt.

Telling me there is no problem
won’t solve the problem.

This is not how miracles are born.

This is not how sickness works.

I understand how it feels to look calm in the outside but you’re deeply broken in the inside.

I understand how it feels when you’re being frank to people; telling about you’re facing a mental illness – where you have to fought valiantly everyday with the deep darkest thoughts in your brain and how did people react? They laugh and tell me to “fuck off because you don’t look sick” or “you don’t look mentally disabled”.

I understand how it feels to fight with our societies stigma that mental illness is a taboo – as we are unacceptable in society.

I understand how it feels when you have to battle with sudden suicide and self harm plan in your head.

I understand all those shit

I have to battle with my depression and anxiety; everyfuckingtime.

It is a hard cycle to conquer. The body is working against you. And because of this, you feel even more despair. Which only amplifies the imbalance. It takes uncommon strength to live with these things. But I have seen that strength over and over again.

And yet, trust me, there are some people who don’t believe this.

To my fellow friend who is in the same journey as me – to battle with our mental illness – you’re not alone ; keep fighting and let not your mental illness define you ❤

3 AM poems

I’m writing a poem,

I don’t know why.

I should stop this,

Or you’ll think I’m high.

Let it heal.

My counselor told me something really meaningful and profound recently.

She said, “It’s important to remember that when you’re depressed, you have to nurse yourself and be extra gentle towards yourself. An athlete wouldn’t break an ankle and then force themselves to run with that ankle. They rest as it heals and do not think “I am a failed athlete”. Instead, they think, “Right now something isn’t working right, so I’ll take care of myself until it does.”

Just like a broken bone, depression can change the way your daily life plays out, and pushing yourself too hard and getting frustated when you don’t feel better is just like trying to run on that broken ankle and getting frustated when it doesn’t heal.

Give it time.

Let it heal.

Breathe. This will pass.


You’re going to be okay.

Breathe and remember that you’ve been in this place before.

You’ve been this uncomfortable and anxious and scared, and you’ve survived.

Breathe and know that you can survive this too. These feelings can’t break you.

They’re painful and debilitating, but you can sit with them and eventually, they will pass. Maybe not immediately, but sometime soon, they are going to fade and when they do, you’ll look back at this moment and laugh for having doubted your resilience.

I know it feels unbearable right now, but keep breathing, again and again.

This will pass.

I promise it will pass.

The real self care 101.

Everyone needs self care. There’s no “Ugh, who needs self care, it sounds like girly stuff I wouldn’t be caught dead doing” or “It’s unnecessary”.

Imagine this: You’re overwhelmed at work. You have a ton of assignments piling up at home, submission dates are creeping up on you at an alarming rate and your calendar is packed with overdue tasks. To make room for all of this stuff, you skip lunch, stop going out, and forget about your social life entirely. When we’re stressed, self care is usually the first thing to throw out of the window. And that only makes things so much worse.

It’s easy to neglect taking care of ourselves because when we’re busy and overwhelmed, even a small break feels like a luxury. So actually taking time to eat lunch, go out, and hang out with friends? That just feels like slacking.

There is a misconception that self care is all about slush bomb baths, massages, yoga, expensive candles and buying nice meals. Because what does self care mean to someone who is broke, struggling and burdened with hardships, right? The beautiful concept of self care is commercialized beyond imagination.

So, here are a few realistic self care tips for us broke people:

  1. Call a friend. Preferably a friend you haven’t spoken to from a long time. Talk about the fun times you had together. It actually makes you feel good.
  2. Take a walk outside. Feel the warmth of the sun on your face. Or the feel of the breeze flowing around you. Whatever works.
  3. Delete any apps that you haven’t used for more than a week. Decluttering your phone is just as important as decluttering your desk.
  4. Declutter your desk while you’re at it.
  5. Find a sacred spot; a view you love or a place that makes you feel greatly alive. Visit it as often as possible.
  6. Go to the beach and wiggle your toes in the sand.
  7. Re-read your favorite novel.
  8. Listen to uplifting music; something that you can sing out loud and swing your hips to.
  9. Since it’s finally sweater weather (yaaayyyyy!!), wear your comfiest hoodie or cover yourself in your fluffy blanket and sip on coffee while reading a book.
  10. The last few months, I’ve been loving coloring books. Maybe a little silly, but so awesome. Seriously, give it a try.

Look, not every one of these self care ideas will be your cup of tea.

They won’t all be the perfect antidote to what you’re going through. But I hope that this is enough inspiration to get you started. What I want you to know most is that you have the power to claim self care as your ishh. The inspiration here is just a starting point. There is no stopping once you start.

Continue reading “The real self care 101.”